The Play's the Thing, Part VII

Originally published July 9, 2014

In my continuing series, I discuss The Play's the Thing, a player advice column by Robin D. Laws that ran in Dragon Magazine in the early years of D&D 3rd edition. The point of the column was to help players improve their games for their own enjoyment and that of their fellow players. In addition to reviewing that advice, I'll be providing my thoughts on how it works in actual play.

Killer Communication Problems

Issue 296, June 2002

This week is a bit different. Rather than focus on improving your character or their stories, I am going to discuss how to deal with the things that can ruin the game. Specifically I want to discuss how you as a player can help to rectify them.

There are a wide range of things that can disrupt a game but we are going to focus for this post on the problem of differing expectations: where one player (perhaps yourself) expects the action of a game or the rules to work one way and the gamemaster or another player thinks it should be a different way.

Classic conflicts include the level of "realism" in combat, whether the characters are heroes among men or incompetents among the orcs, the balance of roleplaying or interpersonal scenes verses combat, whether magic can replicate (and make obsolete) the mundane abilities of other characters, whether stealth has any benefit or is just window dressing on the way to the main fight, nonplayer character (NPC) or player character (PC) spotlight hogging, and simple out of character (OOC) differences.

The solution to these problems all begin with one word: communication. But where and when? I would argue that these topics are best discussed outside of game. Let the matter, whatever it is, slide during play if possible (barring truly outrageous behavior). Otherwise you will derail the game, possibly stirring (more) bad feelings all around, most likely directed at yourself. It is also a disservice to your gamemaster (GM) who has had to concoct an adventure for you and play more characters than you on top of it. Engaging in a prolonged argument won't improve anyone's enjoyment of the session and will hinder your efforts to rectify the matter bothering you.

After, before, or in between sessions is an excellent time to bring up these issues and I encourage you to do so. I know we gamers are overwhelmingly introverts and many of us actively avoid standing up and admitting our true feelings on a game, player or particular ruling but keeping quiet and not doing something about it will not solve the problem.

The alternative to discussing the issue, even if you are not directly involved, is that the issue will fester. People may choose to not show up to sessions, letting the game wither and die. Alternatively the group might violently explode as emotions boil over. As most of us try to play with friends, that would be truly tragic.

There are several steps that you should do when trying to solve a problem with the game or its participants:

First off identify the exact problem. Does the DM railroad too much? Is one of the players antagonizing another? Is one player hogging the spotlight? This step should be fairly easy, after all it is what is motivating you to fix the game.

Next identify the causes. Is this a misunderstanding between two people or is really one person behind it? It might be something as vague as a group dynamic or lack of a cohesive vision of the game world. Maybe the real problem is the environment where you are playing? If for example tardiness is the issue then perhaps the time slot is the issue.

Then try to see the problem from the point of view of the other participants. This is a crucial step. If you want to convince the other person to help fix the issue, understanding how they feel will help bring them to your side. This will also often help clarify the real cause and perhaps suggest a solution.

The next most difficult step is to try to determine a possible solution or solutions. Then you can talk to the people involved (outside the game) and present the problem together with your solution.

When you do bring up the issue, the key is to remain calm and courteous. You need to discuss the matter like an adult (or at least how adults should act). You can't guarantee the other person will reciprocate (more on that later) but it at least gets the conversation off to a good start.

Finally be prepared to compromise. You need to realize that you might also need to bend to fix the problem.

I'll go through these steps in more detail in my article next week but for now I'll provide a concrete example of my worst game related issue. I was the GM for that game but it was really my players that resolved the issue. Hopefully whatever issue you encounter will not require as an extreme solution.

I had been running a game for some friends when a friend of theirs rejoined us after a six month hiatus. He had been a tad hyper and obsessive when he played with us before but I had been able to handle him. He was also that sort of player who had to play exactly the same character in each game (an elven paladin). I accommodated him as best I could in the system (we were not playing D&D) and things seemed good for a while. But as the game progressed he became more and more disruptive, demanding of attention from everyone, interfering with others in-game, and generally being obnoxious. The players and I tried to get him to tone it down nut to no avail. I was at my wits end deciding how to deal with him. He was derailing the game with his antics and sucking the fun out of it.

Then my players approached me. They had realized he was a problem and that the measures I tried earlier were not working. It had come to that thing we all dread: uninviting a player. Agreeing to stand up with me in this, they recommended broaching the matter with him. So the four of us approached him prior to the next session.

It was tense. I hate conflict but there was no way out of it. We kicked him out of the group. He did not take it well and there was some fallout. We lost another player for a while (she came back later with horror stories about the game he ran). But the game as whole survived and went on to become one of my favorites.

Next week we will dig into the specifics of the steps and how you might apply them. As my story shows, sometimes things won't entirely work out but the result is better than the alternative. In the worst case remember the axiom: no gaming better than bad gaming.